Relationships and Complaining
Part of having a relationship is having someone mirror you. This means we get to see all parts of ourselves, even the parts we don’t like. Getting into deep relationships with others is one of the fastest ways to evolve.
The process of relationship can be the best thing that ever happened to you. It can also become a cycle of what feels like crap. If your partner expresses he or she is upset because you did not take the trash out, you have to look at why you did not do that. If your partner criticizes you (aka complains) through all the different ways one can do this, it goes into a negative cycle.
Notice which system your relationship is using. Is it using one that creates more positive cycles or one that is in a deficit? Complaining is one of the ways we kill relationships and there is a difference between expressing your needs and criticizing your partner. Notice your words, your thoughts and your actions when you become upset with your partner. Notice when you are expressing your needs and when you are putting him or her down.
When we are safe to see the beauty in our partner, we like him or her more. We feel in love with that person for many reasons. If we want to see the good in one another, we need to be that goodness and share kindness.
If you have a signifigant other this is a challenge for you both! Today, make strips of paper and on them write down what you like about your partner. Write down at least 5 things. Put the writing into a bowl and together, read those things one at a time. You can read what you wrote or you can have your partner read it. Be honest about what you love about that person so he or she can feel your intention.
From a participant in this challenge!
"I know I complain a lot about my husband. I stopped for the challenge and he loves it. He made me breakfast and cleaned up after himself. I looked at him to tell him thank you and I forgot how amazing his eyes are. I have been so bitter. Thank you for helping me change this."